I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize