Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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