Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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