Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
