he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize