Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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