Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
