Non-Jews are for practice
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
