plz talk dirty to me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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