You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
