i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
