STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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