Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
