Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
