i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
