Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
