this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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