I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
