just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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