I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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