i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
