I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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