It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
