Soap is not a condiment
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
