JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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