I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
