She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
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fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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