Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
