How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just invented taco cereal.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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