The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
