I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
