Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
