wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
