it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
