I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
