yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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