We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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