So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
