Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
