If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
