Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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