i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize