One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You made out with two different species that night
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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