Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
