i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
