i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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