He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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