I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
All I want is dick and wine.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
