Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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