return my video game
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm bleeding and have questions
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
