I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
