Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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