just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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