those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can I color on your dick again?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
