Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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