So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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