Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
