Do vagina's smell?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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