I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
