Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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