I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize