Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
