jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
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I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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