So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize