i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
that's an acceptable place to lick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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