News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
