Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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