just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
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Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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