I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
