hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
