Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Found your dick twin last night
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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